What Lights Your Fire?

What Lights Your Fire?

by Troy Cady

I love asking this question because every time I ask it I see the person or group of people come alive before my very eyes.

Their eyes open wide with life, their voices become excited, vibrant…they often begin to speak more quickly, loudly…they become bold, their chest swells, their body becomes animated, their hands move and grasp the air like they are passionately sculpting, creative and focused.

I’ve had the privilege in the past few months of working with groups and individuals to help them articulate and be true to vision, purpose and mission…all fueled by passion. In almost every instance I start with a variant of the key question: “What lights your fire?”

In every instance, the answer helps the group or person obtain clarity about what they should do next. When we are true to what energizes us we find an inexhaustible source of life that buoys us up when the going gets tough, when we don’t know what to do.

I think of a scene in The Lord of the Rings (love that movie, by the way!) when Gandalf and the Fellowship of the Ring are in the mines of Moria. They pause because Gandalf doesn’t know which path to take next and then, after a brief rest, Gandalf suddenly knows the way to go.

Someone asks him how he figured it out and he replies that he knew which way to take because “the air doesn’t smell so foul down here. When in doubt…follow your nose!”

I think of passion in a similar vein. When you wake up one day and you don’t know which way to take, what to do, ask yourself what energizes you. The road will take you to a place where the air is sweeter, even if the place is darkness all around you. You’ll know it’s the right way because it’s the way of hope...and hope is what takes you through tough times. 

In the end, joy is your strength.

So I invite you to consider today: what lights your fire?

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PlayFull offers coaching and team building designed to help you articulate your passion and stay true to it. Contact us if you’d like to know how we can help you thrive. 

PlayFull Is Catching On All Over

Today, I had the privilege of engaging in three different life-giving conversations with some folks who are located in different cities scattered across the United States.

Thinking of it all just now makes me smile.

I had the chance to dream with future PlayFull board member Dave Marmion who lives in Austin, Texas.  We talked about what a board member does and noted that the PlayFull board will likely be anything but typical. Most boards are driven by financial concerns. The PlayFull board is driven by creativity.  While we don’t want to be naïve about money matters, I personally believe that if we can put money in its proper place we’ll discover that PlayFull comes as a breath of fresh air right from its very core.

Later this morning, I spoke with a man in Columbus, Ohio who is in the midst of starting a church in the inner city. We spoke of team dynamics and clarity of vision. We spoke of the challenge of managing transition well and the importance of listening to neighborhood rhythms. We entertained ideas about a PlayDate: an event hosted by PlayFull to enable the leadership team to creatively tackle obstacles they encounter.

Finally, I spoke with a woman living in St. Paul, Minnesota whose sacrificial service has birthed a unique church (with Christian Associates International) that touches the impoverished with the love of Christ.  Here’s a community that’s playful at its heart: they are willing to experiment. Their church does not look like a typical “Sunday morning” church. In fact, 100 percent of the offerings they receive goes to help those that can’t help themselves.

My heart is full because each conversation was marked by freedom and grace. There’s freedom to dream up new ventures. There’s grace to pursue these ventures and grace that removes the fear of failure.

I count it an honor to work alongside people like this and I am more convinced than ever that PlayFull’s mission is spot on. I’m grateful to those reading this for supporting and encouraging this unique work.

Thank you,

Troy

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PlayFull offers coaching, team building and creative consulting. Write Troy to see how PlayFull can help you.

Professor Conflict

Some years ago, when I was in the midst of starting a new church, I had a conflict to address. To be honest, I had many conflicts to address. Strike that. It actually got to the point where I felt like that’s all I was doing.

Conflict after conflict after conflict. Day after day after day. I’d get one matter resolved and another one would pop up.

I suspect many of you reading this can relate. I suspect many of you can say, “Yes, I’ve had times in my life like that, too.”

As hard as it was to go through that season, I’m glad I did because I learned a lot from it.

Of course, one big thing I learned from it is that conflict is a good teacher. In fact, I think it may be our best teacher. I say that because conflicts present us with opportunities to learn new things about ourselves, others, the world, the nature of relationship and God.

Notice I use the word “opportunities.” Conflict presents us with the option to learn, but conflict itself cannot force us to learn what it wants to teach us. That is up to us.

Think of conflict like a threshold. There is an open door to walk through. We do not know what awaits us on the other side because what we see from our side is something that appears dark to us. The irony is: when we seize the opportunity to take in what conflict can teach us, we discover another place filled with light. In fact, we are able to discern that the place we had once been in now seems to us as the darkness we perceived before crossing the threshold.

The door is open. It is up to us to walk through it.

I discovered this because when I came to the point where I had to deal with my twenty-seventh conflict in as many days I said to myself, “Not again! I am so sick of dealing with conflict. When can I be done with this so I can get on with ministry?”

That’s when the Spirit whispered to my heart: “….so you can ‘get on with ministry’? What do you think you’re here for?”

Please don’t think I’m crazy, but the conversation went something like this.

“What?”

“What do you think you’re here for?”

“Well…ministry.”

“Yes, I know: but what is ‘ministry’?”

I had all the right answers: “Well, you know: teaching, leading, praying with people, mentoring, making disciples, serving.”

I sensed the Spirit say something like: “Huh, interesting. That’s what you think you’re here for.”

I wrestled with what ‘ministry’ meant. In my wrestling, I turned a phrase about ‘ministry’ from the Bible over and over in my head and heart.  (That’s what ministers do, right? Look for answers in the Bible.)

The phrase was this: “the ministry of reconciliation.”

It was the most immediate phrase that came to mind. And it was just what I needed.

I realized that the ministry God had given to me was not just any type of ministry. It was not even “ministry” how I had been defining it. It was “the ministry of reconciliation”.

Put in simpler terms, it was a work of peacemaking.

I was not accustomed to thinking of myself as a peacemaker at this point in my life so when the thought hit me that this was, indeed, the essence of Christian ministry it struck me as a paradigm shift.

“So, what you’re telling me is that my main job is to make peace?”

“Now you’re getting it. Why do you think I’ve given you so many chances to learn this lately?”

“I see.”

“Conflict is not an interruption to ministry. It is ministry.”

At that point I began to view conflict as a means for us to see the miracle of grace, mercy and forgiveness in action. In Christian lingo, conflict and the gospel go hand-in-hand. The good news of the gospel of Jesus is that wrong-doers (like me) can receive forgiveness and grace. Forgiveness sets us free and grace enables us to walk in hope. We do not have to fear being condemned, we are given a second chance. In fact, the grace is limitless so we receive countless chances—even if we don’t realize it.

Dealing with conflict forms the very fabric of any ministry that claims to be good-news, gospel. Without conflict there is no gospel.

So, in PlayFull’s team building and coaching work helping people navigate conflict in a healthy way is core. We believe that it is impossible to truly lead playful lives without conflict. The playful response views conflict as a chance to learn holistically, in mind and heart. And the playful response views conflict as a chance to live out forgiveness. PlayFull believes that the freedom of grace brings joy without equal.

Be blessed,

Troy

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Write Troy to inquire about coaching or team building. Write Doreen if you’re interested in spiritual direction. Like us on Facebook or Follow us on Twitter. Here’s to play!

A Window Into My World Today

I always love hearing from folks who have just discovered PlayFull. Reading or hearing their enthusiastic words of support and encouragement lights my fire!

On Saturday, a person whom I've never met wrote me an email saying they heard about PlayFull from a newsletter sent out by another organization. She said she'd love to hear more!

I was able to answer her query today. Since she'd never heard about PlayFull before this weekend, I gave her a little overview of who we are and what we do. As I wrote my reply, I thought: "Well, I suppose others might find this information helpful, too." So...I thought I'd share a slightly edited version here. (Crazy idea, eh? J )

Hi, D---!

How nice to hear from you…Thanks for expressing interest in PlayFull. It’s always encouraging to know folks are interested in what we do…I’d love to chat with you to hear what struck a chord with you, and to hear what you’re up to. Who knows? Maybe PlayFull could be of help, somehow. J

PlayFull is dedicated to helping people and organizations play from the inside out. As I describe PlayFull to folks who are just getting to know us, I often boil it down to three modes: PlayDates, PlayGroups, and Consulting. 

1. PlayDates: these are one-off events where we gather a group of folks together to explore a given topic through playful activities. For example, towards the end of September we’ll host a PlayDate in Chicago that will introduce folks to the enneagram, a tool that helps people understand themselves and others better. The enneagram presents a freeing approach for personal growth and it’s useful in building healthy teams, too.

In early October I'm planning on heading to Denver to host a PlayDate with an organization that works in some very challenging arenas. One portion of what they do involves hosting inter-faith dialogues with Jews, Muslims and Christians. I'm looking forward to facilitating some playful (theatrical!) activities with them that they can use in their peacemaking work.

Of course, PlayDates could be on almost any topic: prayer, racial reconciliation, marriage, Christian formation, conflict transformation, interpersonal communication, and so forth.

2. PlayGroups: these are small groups of people (numbering anywhere from 6 to 26 folks) that are similar to PlayDates but they meet regularly for a set period of time. For example, a PlayGroup could meet once a month for five or six months or once a week for 3 or 4 months.

An example: PlayFull is developing a series of 12 stories that are taken from the Bible that could be used in intergenerational small group settings. The 12 stories will articulate a theology of play and they’ll include objects and question-prompts to help people wonder about a familiar story in a free kind of way. Through this process called "wondering" participants will see old stories in a new light.

3. Consulting:

PlayFull offers different types of consulting. Here are three examples...

A. PlayFull offers training in a type of children’s ministry that is similar to Godly Play.

B. PlayFull conducts team building events (anywhere from a four-hour workshop to a 3-day retreat). These events help participants understand one another better, establish healthy habits/protocols for teaming, and develop vision together.

C. PlayFull also offers coaching, organizational development and leadership development tools. One tool I particularly enjoy using is a playful process designed to help teams discover their collective core values.

That said, the common ingredient in whatever we do is…play! This is because we see play as one of the world’s greatest untapped resources and we want to do what we can to help folks “play from the inside out”. If we can help cultivate an understanding of the nature and scope of play, we believe folks will apply it to whatever challenges they or their group may be facing.

Let me know if you’d like to talk more. I’m interested to hear what you’re about and why PlayFull struck a chord with you. If you like, we could chat on the phone.  I’ll be happy to arrange a time to talk.

Sincerely,

Troy

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I hope you enjoyed that little window into my world! :) I feel so blessed to be doing what I do.

And, remember: what I said to my new friend goes for you, too! Feel free to drop me a line. Let’s play together…

Keep smiling,

Troy

Play and Listening

I serve as a coach to all sorts of people. Some of those I have coached are musicians, some are in the publishing business, one works for United Way, one is in the banking world, others work in an elementary school, still another is a computer guru. They all have one thing in common: the need to have someone listen to them.

I have to say, practicing curiosity and helping others be curious are among the greatest joys I have in what I do. A few months ago I had a coaching session with a guy and he remarked what a gift it is to just have someone to talk out ideas with—to be able to connect with someone who would listen simply to understand, not judge—to draw out, not “instruct”.

We all need good listeners in our life. Recently, it occurred to me: what a tragedy that we live in a world where whole professions have been created simply because someone needs someone else to listen—just listen, nothing more. And: what a tragedy that many of these professions require years and years of schooling simply to become a good listener. This tells us something about the value (and difficulty) of listening.

One of the greatest gifts you can give to those around you is to be a good listener. Even if you feel you know the answer to someone else’s problem, I invite you to resist the temptation to play the role of advice-giver. Yes, you may be an expert in a given field, you may have had a similar problem as someone else, but that does not mean the answers you provide will truly help the other. Answers discovered hold more power than answers “taught”.

Just look at Jesus. Who was a greater expert in the human condition than him? Yet look at how well he listened! Consider how many questions he asked...Jesus was a master conversationalist: he knew how to speak well because he knew how to listen well. May we follow his example. May we learn to love others by listening.

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Would you like to know more about coaching? Write us!

What I Love About Coaching

I just got off the phone with a person I started coaching today. He lives in Los Angeles, is in his late twenties and has a wife and a baby.

After talking with him, I found myself energized. I wondered: “What makes me so happy about interactions like that?”

Here’s what I love about coaching:

1. The diversity. I consider myself privileged to have the chance to interact with folks in different career fields, of different life-stages, with different personality types, from different ethnic backgrounds. Taken together, the people I coach possess an incredible array of talents.

2. The learning environment. People who welcome coaching are teachable! They want to learn and grow, otherwise they would not agree to be coached. I love how each and every one of them welcomes the kind of interaction that calls them out of their comfort zone.

3. The creativity. I like to think of coaching as a playful process. In my experience, good coaching involves improvisation.  It’s amazing how a single question can spark out-of-the-box thinking. Coaching encourages people to take a step outside a situation to look at it from a different angle. The process of slowing down to entertain questions we might not otherwise consider can serve as a powerful resource for breaking through barriers.

4. The safety. Coaching provides a context where people can be completely honest. Many people think of coaching as merely “performance driven”, but I do not share that sentiment. Whether we like it or not, our actions are most often driven by our thoughts and feelings. So…no matter what someone is thinking or feeling, I want those I coach to know I will not judge them or think less of them. If they are feeling doubtful, they can express it. If they are jealous, they can own it. As a coach I love helping people get in touch with the source of their thoughts and feelings. By encouraging authenticity, the way can be cleared for real progress.

5. The intentionality.  Coaching takes a dream the size of Mount Everest and breaks it down to one-step-at-a-time segments. Too often people feel a situation is totally beyond the realm of their influence. That’s when I like to ask, “What can be done?” By thinking “possibility”, people are able to see a path in the woods. You can take that one step, you can make that one call, you can face that particular challenge. By the end of each coaching session, each person has a clear idea of what they can do next. Their action steps are realistic, yet stretching. People discover the difference they can make as they become deliberate about what to do next.  It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you are patient and willing to commit to tangible action.

6. The companionship. The word “companion” comes from two Latin words meaning “with bread.” We like to think of non-judgmental friends as those who are “there” for us, bringing the simple “bread” of solidarity. Well, I like to think of coaching that way, too. In my coaching sessions, I hope people will be nourished by the gift of a listening, understanding ear. No one likes to feel alone. I love coaching because I get to come alongside all kinds of people to champion them—their gifts, their dreams, their passions. In my own experience, I've found those kind of people invaluable—the ones who say, “We see what you are doing, we see what you are about, and we celebrate it. We believe in you!” That’s what coaching is to me and that is the biggest reason I love coaching.   

-Troy Cady  

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If you’d like to know more about PlayFull coaching, write us!