Showing posts with label conflict. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conflict. Show all posts

02 March 2021

thoughts on conflict

 


Some PlayFull thoughts on conflict:

Perhaps there is nothing that deflates interpersonal conflict more quickly and effectively than when just one party has the courage to say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?”

How hard it is for us to say such small words! It rails against every instinct we possess. Nobody wants to be wrong. Nobody wants to be thought less of because the other party sees you’re imperfect.

But, guess what? Nobody’s perfect. Rather than powering up to preserve the mere semblance of perfection, the truly playful person is able to laugh at themselves and admit their own imperfection…not only to themselves but to others, too.

What grace and freedom we experience when we swallow our pride and say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?”

I wonder: do you need to receive forgiveness from someone? Ask God for the courage to go to them and make amends. Live in freedom.   

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thoughts on conflict

by troy cady

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04 July 2014

Go 4th and Play

In his book Homo Ludens, Dutch historian Johan Huizinga asserts that culture arises in and as play. This  is quite a bold assertion. It is not a statement about our love for sports and board games. He is not talking about play as a microcosm of culture, a characteristic of culture. He is saying we have culture because we play. Play creates culture, macro-culture.

Huizinga believes that play is the mother of government and religion. Even law and language have play as their source. I happen to agree with him. 

Since today is July 4th and I happen to be an American, I wanted to reflect a bit on this theme that culture, macro-culture, is a child of play.

America has been and always will be an experiment. There is no way America’s founders could have seen or predicted what America would be like today. That’s because our history is a story of testing limits, seeing how far the boundaries of our Constitution will stretch.

Drafting the constitution was a creative, imaginative endeavor. The framers wanted to find just the right words to ensure long-lasting liberty, freedom from tyranny and oppression. 

The authors of the Constitution put in place a system of checks and balances, a feature shared by play in its fullest form. That is what creates interest. These checks and balances attenuate the effects of conflict, but they also establish an arena that creates conflict and within which conflict is played out. Putting in place a three-part system takes into account that conflict is bound to happen—and when it happens these same checks and balances ensure everyone plays the game fairly.

Notice that play happens in specific locations. The Supreme Court is just as much a playground as the area rug in my son’s bedroom. When my son was much younger, we would role play together on that rug with his sister and a menagerie of stuffed toys. When we were in that place, one role served to mitigate the power of another. Playing fairly meant honoring the role another played, no matter how different they were from you. We had a special language when we role-played and there were special rules to govern the playtime.

Huizinga: “All play moves and has its being within a playground marked off beforehand either materially or ideally, deliberately or as a matter of course…The arena, the card-table, the magic circle, the temple, the stage, the screen, the tennis court, the court of justice, etc., are all in form and function play-grounds…within which special rules obtain. All are temporary worlds within the ordinary world, dedicated to the performance of an act apart.” (10)

The accusation “I hold you in contempt of court” is telling. It is a charge that someone in the playground is flaunting, twisting, disregarding and disrespecting the rules that apply in that place. We cannot function properly in such an environment—which is why we have grown sick to our stomach at the games people play with our legal system.

“That is not how it is intended to work!” We know when something is awry by instinct—our creative, joyful, generous play-instinct. When the rules are twisted, it is a game that is anti-play and we do what we can to restore the situation to free play that honors the true spirit of the rules of the playground.

Why does this matter? As an American, all this begs humility. America was and is an experiment—and so are other forms of government. We do not have a monopoly on truth. We are still learning and growing (hopefully). Our system is not perfect and conflict will always be a factor for which we must account. We can choose to embrace conflict as an opportunity to grow--an arena within which we may work towards reconciliation--or we can manipulate conflict to enact innumerable power-plays.

PlayFull’s hope is that the latter will diminish as we choose to nurture the former. America, we wish you a long future of gracious, imaginative play.  

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